Minnesota Cold

At five am, the moon was shining so bright that I didn't need a flashlight outside, but it was coldddddd. 
I knew it before I even went outside because the house was popping and making small exploding noises as the wood was contracting.

 Stepping  outside, the first breath made me gasp.  Just like the old days......
How cold was it?
Well...I went to start the van to let it warm up and it actually moaned before deciding whether to start or not.  Once started, it still was undecided as to whether it should keep running.  My daughter's car wouldn't start at all.

Going out to the barn, my nostrils were frozen together, making it a challenge to inhale.

My jacket started making funny noises, cracking and sqeaking making me wonder if I touched it, would it shatter?
The snow sounded the same as my jacket.

Climbing into the van, the seats felt like plywood.  How can upholstery freeze?  I didn't think that there was any moisture in car seats.

Then, of course, there's the flat tire syndrome.  The part of the tire that rests on the ground, freezes flat and makes a kerplunkety,plunkety,plunkety noise going down the road, and gives you the added benefit of feeling like you're driving without shocks.

It's for this reason that we don't have a thermometer.  Who really needs to know  how cold it is?  Once we were in the van, we had a thermometer and it read -40.  Just like the old days...